Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I am really not sure who gets credit for these. So, here they are:

Here are some more of those little conundrums (or should that be conundra?)

  • Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
  • What do chickens think we taste like?
  • What do people in China call THEIR good plates?
  • When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
  • Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  • Why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
  • Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and
  • drive?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
  • Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
  • Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
  • You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes, why
  • don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
  • If a firefighter fights fire and a crimefighter fights crime, what does a
  • freedomfighter fight?
  • If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
  • If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on,
  • what happens?
  • What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
  • Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Jesus’ Baptism and What It Means to Us.

(Mark 1:4) John baptized in the wilderness, and preached the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins. (Mat 3:6) And were baptized by him in Jordan, confessing their sins. (Mark 1:8) I indeed have baptized you with water: but he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost. (Mat 3:13) Then Jesus came from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him. (Mat 3:14) But John forbid him, saying, I have need to be baptized of you, and you come to me? (Mat 3:16) And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and resting upon him: (John 4:1)

What is repentance and what do we need to repent of?

    • It means to T_______ Around
    • and Change D_____________.
  • What is confession and what do we need to confess?
    • We must confess our S_______.
    • And confess Jesus as L_______.
  • Why was Jesus baptized?


Jesus Refers to His Death as a Baptism.

(Luke 12:50) But I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how am I straitened (distressed) till it be accomplished!

Why do you think Jesus called His suffering and death a baptism? Other words:

    • Immersed
    • Covered
    • Overwhelmed
  • What does that mean to us about our baptisms?

The Commission We Have

(Mat 28:19 ) Go you therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

  • What things did Jesus call us to do as believers? What do they mean?

What is a Spirit Baptism?

(Acts 1:5) For John truly baptized with water; but you shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence. (Acts 2:38) Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. (Acts 2:41) Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls. (Acts 8:12) But when they believed Philip preaching the things concerning the kingdom of God, and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. (Acts 8:36) And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? (Acts 10:47) Can any man forbid water, that these should not be baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we?

  • What is (are) the requirement(s) for baptism?
    • Be_________________
    • Re_________________
    • Re_________________
  • How often were people baptized?
  • What does the Spirit do in our lives when we receive Jesus?

The Meaning of Baptism for the Christian

(1 Cor 12:13) For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. (Col 2:12 ) Buried with him in baptism, wherein also you are risen with him through the faith of the operation of God, who hath raised him from the dead. (Gal 3:27) For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. (Rom 6:3 ) Know you not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? (Rom 6:4) Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. (Eph 4:5) One Lord, one faith, one baptism,

  • What lessons can we learn about the meaning of baptism from these verses?
  • How is baptism like a painting? How is it like a drama? How is it like a sermon?
  • How could baptism be important in your life?
  • How could it be a witness to your friends?
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Pastor Tim at Cybersalt.

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